As you grow older, you realise that love and intimacy can mean a variety of things, and this wisdom leads you also to understand that, like many things, sex too can become better as you approach mid-life. You can express so many things through it, you realise, and there are so many ways to enjoy its full pleasure!
How can you get over your negative mental baggage, all the complexes and inhibitions that hold you back - and be at ease as you act on this realisation? Just think about it! Isn't living an ongoing process, and don't you learn something new every single day? Well, it is the same with sex. Even, if you have been married to the same person for decades, you can both keep your sexual batteries charged, if you act in tandem with each other. And there is the additional advantage that sexual fulfilment can help bring a greater balance in other aspects of your married life too.
What is the secret of having good sex?
It is that good sex needs quality, time, eagerness and liveliness. With these, you can reap exquisitely erotic and emotional rewards. In life, practice makes one perfect, and this maxim applies to sex too. Practice is for you to embark on a silly and uninhibited hunt with your love in bed!
Sex becomes fabulous, if you are always trying to improvise. Remember that this is one thing at which you become better as you grow older. All the practice you put in during your younger years now pays off! We, after all, learn a lot from our various experiences as we mature and allow hidden impulses to rise to the surface. We learn what turns us on and what turns us wild!
We then wish we had known all this when we had been younger - but Nature knows the best! After all, if we had had this kind of adrenalin rush when we had been younger, by now we'd be jaded! In our youth, we are in a hurry to achieve an orgasm, but in mid-life, it is drawn-out pleasure that we want.
By mid-life you know what turns your partner on and how to please him or her. This is because we are sexually smarter in our 40s than we were in our early 20s. According to Ted Mcllyenna PhD, MD, Sexologist and Director of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Sexuality in San Francisco, California, partners can take their sex lives to even higher levels by understanding that they can constantly discover new ways to turn each other on. They can do this by discussing their sexual wants, needs and fantasies.
When older people from a range of backgrounds were asked what they wished they had known about sex when they had been younger, they had different things to say but they agreed on one thing. This was that being good in bed and really enjoying sex is all about being at ease with your partner and yourself so that both feel relaxed and confident.
"Be honest about what you want and learn to ask for it," said Stephen who is retired. He added, "Devote more time to sex by going to bed early and then spend the night kissing, massaging, stroking and cuddling each other!" "Girls don't bite unless you want - them to," said Mike, who is an entrepreneur. He went on to say that sex is very fulfilling when we concentrate on giving bliss to each other without worrying about our own performance.
As we grow older the sexual insecurities of adolescence sometimes resurface. But we can overcome these and take our sex life to new heights by exploring our bodies, feelings and needs anew.
Experimentation helps people lighten up, feel new sensations and stop worrying. This will bring a playful magic into our sex lives.