You have no idea how many men spend a lot of time worrying about sex and their ability to perform. It must be of the biggest issues in the life of a man and it affects his general disposition in a positive or negative manner.
A man tormented by anxiety is either a man whose sex life is not very satisfying or who thinks that he does something wrong. It doesn't matter if the partner is not complaining, the man still feels inadequate. Some men actually spend a lot of time worrying about this or that and no amount of reassurance could put their minds at ease.
The top problem of any man who likes sex and wants to have as much as possible is the classic "Am I good enough?".
This question can mean several things, depending on what the individual sees as a liability. It could mean "Am I big enough?" if the man in question has an average-sized or small penis. It could mean "Am I attentive enough?" for the worried lover who likes to get the dining and foreplay part right. It could also mean "Am I really giving her an orgasm?". One of the big unanswered questions for men is whether women fake it. And how often?
Near the top of the tree lies the eternal question to which millions of frustrated men have been trying to find an answer: "Does size matter or not?".
Once more we are faced with the unenviable task of saying that there is no definitive answer to this question. It all depends on the woman and what she likes or dislikes. Some women think a 6 inch penis is big enough. Some don't care one way or another as long as the penis is not too small. However, there is no definition set in stone for "too small".
"I'm still a virgin. HELP!!!!". Don't give in to despair because you don't need any help, just some common sense.
There is no deadline for losing the virginity. And you certainly should not take unnecessary risks just because you simply have to have sex with someone in order to avoid being labeled a loser. Have some patience, it will happen sooner or later and it's far better to save the first time for somebody special, than to visit the VD ward or fall in love with a person that doesn't care for you.
Then we have a whole bunch of problems that belong to men who are less experienced when it comes to sex.
"How do I find the clitoris?" is a common question among the men who rely on intercourse to carry the session and are too embarrassed or too grossed up to go and explore the genital area. Take heart, boys, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Nature has made us wonderful beings and worthy of each other's respect. And by the way, giving oral sex can be a fantastic experience.
Which leads us to the next big worry. This one can be summed up with the nice question almost any man has asked at one time or another: "How can I tell if she's had an orgasm?". Unfortunately for the men, there is no way of knowing for sure whether the lady has had an orgasm or has acquired considerable skill at faking it. If the issue is really bugging you, then try and discuss it openly with your partner. However, unless you or the partner are dissatisfied with your performance, you should leave well enough alone.
"She's more experienced than me! What do I do?"
Bask in the moment, of course. If she is indeed more experienced than you, ask her to teach you all the tricks (she'll be tickled pink by the idea), then start improvising on the knowledge. Pretty soon you'll have her amazed and you'll be in control, if that's what you want. Alternatively, you could slowly sharpen your skills, while enjoying every minute of pleasure from a woman who really knows how to take care of a man.
"She's not ready for sex, anal sex, oral sex, fantasies". Guys, rushing in or being pushy about something as intimate and as important as sex is the worst possible approach. Keep your hormones in check and help her overcome her fears or worries. If you don't care for the soft approach, then leave the girls alone and find somebody else. Think about the day when all your waiting will pay off and she will say "Yes". That's something worth waiting for.
Am I terrible in bed?
Frankly, if you need to ask this question then you already have a big problem.
Whether you're actually bad in bed or just low on confidence, I can't say. This is up to you to find out, while I'm just doing some explaining for your convenience. The root of the problem lies in the very simple fact that it takes a lot of experience to know if a woman has an orgasm or if she's faking it. And even experienced men can't always tell if the woman's faking it or not. Bottom line: you can never be sure that your performance is top quality.
And that's even before we take into account slip ups and "that time" when you were too tired or too stressed or you had too much to drink and, well, you know what happened. Unfortunately, these things can erode a man's peace of mind and confidence and make him suspicious of his lady's behavior, even if he shouldn't be. Some times are good and some times are bad and there's little you can do about it. Loosing confidence in yourself and throwing good self-esteem out the window just because of a slip up is not the way to deal with this.
There are many things that could go wrong, which are not necessarily under your control. We do live in a stressful world and the modern fashion that surrounds a man with dozens of machines in order to allow him to work harder and harder everyday is doing it's best to ruin sex around the world. I'm sure that many men who have to resort to Viagra would do better to try and relax a little and take things easier. Stress is one of the great "sex killers" nowadays because no man can truly enjoy himself if he keeps thinking about deadlines, bosses, nasty co-workers or credit card debt.
Aside from its direct impact on performance, stress has some side effects that are just as bad. Some men take to drinking because of it. It always starts small since going out with the guys is fun and hey, we're just having a few beers. Before you know it the number of beers grows and the "evenings out" turn into "nights out". Small wonder that a stressed man with a significant quantity of alcohol in his body is not performing in bed as usual. Men need to recognize the early signs of stress in their lives and take control of the situation.
Remember that once you've started asking questions about your performance you could easily slide into a pattern where low self esteem triggers a failure, which, in turn, sends self esteem even lower and so on. Try to be a bit more positive about things. You were probably tired or stressed. Or you may need to learn some new positions and break the bedroom routine a bit. Surprise her with a new trick or a fantasy. And if you really have a problem, don't despair. Every problem has a solution.
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