Disability Dating Tips: Your First Date with a Girl

Ian C. Langtree - Writer/Editor for Disabled World (DW)
Published: 2009/02/12 - Updated: 2025/02/08
Publication Type: Instructive / Helpful
Topic: Disabled Dating Advice - Publications List

Page Content: Synopsis - Introduction - Main

Synopsis: Information including hints and tips on things to do, and not to do, on your first date with a girl. Try to not to bring your problems and complaints into to the date. Have a fun, upbeat personality that she will be attracted to. You must make her feel good. This is not an interview or a mission you're on... it's a date.

Introduction

So you successfully got a gorgeous girls phone number and it's time for you to go on the first date? Are you feeling nervous? Don't worry, guys. That's perfectly normal.

Main Item

The fact of the matter is that we all get nervous at some point. It's not whether or not you get nerves; it's how you handle those nerves.

When you are on a date with a girl you hardly know it's always best to move at a nice pace and not force anything. There will be many openings throughout the night (if she likes you that is). Signals and positive body languages will permeate her soft skin. So you will know if she wants you to take a step further (inviting you in) or stay at bay (telling you to stay back).

How Do You Know She is Having a Good Time?

The first date is the most important date because it sets the tone.

• Does she feel like the date can go forever? Or does she keep looking at her watch and wondering why the time is moving so slowly? First thing is first... always be kind and respectful to her. I don't care if you think she is just a fling or a one night stand; treat her with some type of respect and dignity. All women like to feel cherished and appreciated.
• Compliment her on her beauty. Remember, she took the whole day just to get ready for the date. Let her know how great you think she looks, but do it tastefully. Use your head and don't go overboard - if you do, she will pick up on this and see right through you.
• Next, you should never talk about yourself until you are asked a specific question. Women hate men who seem self-absorbed. Even though you may not be, if you talk about yourself continuously, she will get the impression that all you care about is yourself.
• Focus on her... women love to get showered with attention. That leads me right into my next rule: never block her out--you must Listen to what she is saying. Listening is key to a successful date.
• It is important when you listen that you remember what she is telling you... that way if she asks you about it later you can recall it with ease. Girls sometimes purposely do this to see if you are paying attention.
• Try to not to bring your problems and complaints into to the date. Have a fun, upbeat personality that she will be attracted to. You must make her feel good. This is not an interview or a mission you're on... it's a date.
• Don't move too fast. A lot a guys think that they have a "green light" as soon as a girl shows them positives body languages. Yes, she does like you, but she still doesn't want to feel cheap and slutty. Don't shove your tongue down her throat or climb on top of her just yet; you will get your chance if you play your cards right.
• Do not bring up her ex whatever you do! A lot guys make this crucial mistake and reopen old wounds. She will be fidgety and uptight for the rest of the evening if you delve deep into her past relationships. She may have be hurt, she may have been mistreated by her Ex so the last thing you want to do is bring him up. If she brings him up try your best to switch gears and change to another subject as soon as you get a chance. Bottom line... Don't ask questions about her ex. Ask her about her friends instead.
• When she goes off into one of those long spells (blabbing for what seems like hours at a time) grin and bare it. Always remember to keep eye contact the whole time she is talking to you. You should always bring up the fact that you and her are going to have great fun together. Always talk about a positive future that you both can look forward to.

I Feel the Sexual Tension... Now What?

If you have a great date, sometimes you feel sexual tension slowly building up but you are not sure if and when it would be appropriate to act on it. In most cases, guys screw things up by trying to move too fast - completely turning off the woman whom they are with. When you feel sexual vibes, you have to know when to strike and when to hold back.

Now every man's situation is unique because the woman he is with will react differently to certain actions. With that being said, seduction is something you will need to master in order to have a successful date.

Towards the End of the Date

If you are at the end of the date and you still don't know what to do (go for it or keep it cool), the easiest way to go about doing things is to do what comes naturally. What I do when I'm on a date is read her body language. If she laughs with me, gazes into my eyes when I speak, or touches my leg when she talks, I know those are all open invitations.

So look out for these clear-cut signals.

Make Her Feel Right at Home

Make sure she feels at ease no matter where she is. So if you are taking her back to your place, (please make sure it's clean and smells good), just relax and do what you have been doing all evening... be your confident self. Women love confidence. And women love to feel safe and protected.

No Interruptions

• Please guys, no interruptions.
• No cell phones, annoying neighbors, or roommates allowed.
• Put some music on and dim the lights. Candles always work.
• You must make her feel important - (even if she is a one-night stand).
• You have to look like you actually care. If she feels like you are on a mission, you will never get her to "give it up."

Making the First Move

So the mood is set and you still don't know if you should make the first move both of you are extremely nervous. Since you are the man, and you feel the vibe, it's time to make the first move. Don't be shy. Slowly lean in for the kiss (don't ask her "can I kiss you..." just do it). Don't worry about whether she likes you or not. Remember, she would not be with you in your room (or at her place) if she did not like you.

Don't rush and shove your tongue down her throat, though. Take it slow; the kissing is vital. If you feel that the moment is right and things are heating up, you can then slowly begin to undress each other at a similar pace. This is where all your foreplay skills will rear its head.

Last Thoughts

It makes no sense to get a girl's number just to get stuck on the date.

• Will you know what to say to her?
• Will you have the confidence to make the first move? The first kiss?
• Will you know how to read her body language?
• Will you know when to listen and when to talk?

These are all questions that a confident man can answer YES! to. The question is, are you this confident? Obviously there is much more to learn when it comes to the dating game. This was merely a checklist of things you should do to make the first date "a hit"... literally.

Author Credentials: Ian was born and grew up in Australia. Since then, he has traveled and lived in numerous locations and currently resides in Montreal, Canada. Ian is the founder, a writer, and editor in chief for Disabled World. Ian believes in the Social Model of Disability, a belief developed by disabled people in the 1970s. The social model changes the focus away from people's impairments and towards removing barriers that disabled people face daily. To learn more about Ian's background, expertise, and achievements, check out his bio.