How to Stop Being Nervous on a First Date

Ian C. Langtree - Writer/Editor for Disabled World (DW)
Published: 2009/02/12 - Updated: 2025/02/08
Publication Type: Instructive / Helpful
Topic: Disabled Dating Advice - Publications List

Page Content: Synopsis - Introduction - Main

Synopsis: How to calm those nervous first date jitters and be confident in yourself when dating the opposite sex.

Why it matters: This article provides practical and compassionate guidance for individuals navigating the complexities of dating, particularly those who may feel anxious or face unique social challenges due to disabilities, age, or other personal circumstances. It addresses common concerns like managing first-date nerves, fostering self-confidence, and communicating boundaries in a clear, non-judgmental tone. The advice includes actionable strategies - such as planning low-pressure activities, focusing on shared interests, and reframing negative self-talk - that cater to diverse needs while emphasizing authenticity and mutual respect. By blending relatable anecdotes with inclusive tips, it creates a supportive resource for anyone seeking meaningful connections, especially those who might feel overlooked in mainstream dating discussions. Its focus on accessibility and emotional safety makes it a valuable tool for fostering genuine relationships - Disabled World (DW).

Introduction

If you're too worked up before a first date, then you might doom it. The key is not be so obsessed with all your insecurities, for example don't have all your thoughts consumed in what your date will think about your handicap. If they already know you're disabled, then they obviously don't find it an obstacle, so don't be so preoccupied with that. Whatever you're self-conscious about, you will simply bring negative attention to it during the date if you're obviously nervous.

Main Item

If you're disabled and dating, then you're going to deal with the same kinds of anxiety as anyone else going on a first date. Thanks to the many new disabled dating sites out there, singles are meeting new people left and right and finding it a lot more convenient and easy to find the love of their life. This is especially true for disabled singles who otherwise, would find it difficult to meet potential mates. However, no matter how familiar you are with the online personals, that doesn't mean you're going to feel any more assured when you leave those dating chat rooms and take your relationship into the real world.

So, how do you quiet those nerves?

If you're too worked up before a first date, then you might doom it. The key is not be so obsessed with all your insecurities, for example don't have all your thoughts consumed in what your date will think about your handicap. If they already know you're disabled, then they obviously don't find it an obstacle, so don't be so preoccupied with that. Whatever you're self-conscious about, you will simply bring negative attention to it during the date if you're obviously nervous. So what should you focus on instead? Your date of course!

A lot of singles concentrate on how they can best present themselves and hide all their flaws to impress their dates.

This is the wrong approach. One reason friends dating often works out, is because the two people have gotten to know each other's true selves before ever beginning a relationship. So on your first date, be yourself and nothing else. You're aim shouldn't be to try to win over someone who isn't right for you - and they are only right for you if they accept and love you for who you are. Once you realize that a first date isn't a "win or lose" ordeal but instead merely a first test (of many) to see if you are compatible with the other person, then a lot of the pressure will be removed.

Back to focusing on the other person.

Remember when you looked over those disabled personals and you paid a great deal attention to the people who crafted them? If you want to be interesting to your date, be interested in them. No one likes to have dinner with someone who only talks about themselves. This is a chance to learn about the person who might be your next husband or wife, so don't take it lightly! Think about a first date as an exciting opportunity to get to know someone. If you have the attitude that dating is fun and unpredictable, then you will find it a lot easier to keep your cool.

Author Credentials: Ian was born and grew up in Australia. Since then, he has traveled and lived in numerous locations and currently resides in Montreal, Canada. Ian is the founder, a writer, and editor in chief for Disabled World. Ian believes in the Social Model of Disability, a belief developed by disabled people in the 1970s. The social model changes the focus away from people's impairments and towards removing barriers that disabled people face daily. To learn more about Ian's background, expertise, and achievements, check out his bio.