Looking Back At Christmas Through Their Eyes

Introduction

If you have been able to read any of my previous blogs on Disabled-World or at sistermotherteacher.blogspot.com, you are familiar with sister and daughter and their multiple disabilities. Even though they are aunt and niece, they act more like sisters. Like sisters, they are alike in some ways and very different in others. This is true in how they see Christmas.

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My Sister

Parents are excited about their child's first Christmas, anticipating their reaction to the decorations, the presents (the paper, the ribbon, and the boxes!), and sharing their child, in their Christmas outfit, with family and friends. My sister's first Christmas was not that way. My sister was born blind with cataracts and glaucoma. Within her first year of life, she had five surgeries to save her right eye. In the late fifties, when she was born, eye surgery wasn't as simple and advanced as it is today. She spent her first Christmas in the hospital sedated and the entire right side of her face bandaged after having eye surgery. My father's prayer for her was that one day she would be able to see the lights on the Christmas tree.

Three years later, my sister underwent surgery on her left eye. My father's prayers were answered. My sister was finally able to see color and form. For my father, decorating the Christmas tree became a "labor of love" for my sister. My sister would sit on the floor by the tree while listening to Christmas music on the radio. My parents would drive my sister and brothers, and me around the town so we could see the Christmas lights and displays. I think it was more for my sister than for us, but we didn't mind.

The Christmas season was delightful until it was time for the tree to come down. Oh, how my sister cried and cried!! That is when the "moving tree" came to be. My parents bought a small tree with lights and placed it on a table in the living room. My sister had her tree and lights, only a much smaller version. It was eventually moved to her bedroom, where it stayed for a couple of months before it was eventually stored away. My sister called it her moving tree.

Sixty years later, the Christmas tree and Christmas music on the radio are what my sister most enjoys about Christmas. With her ability to know schedules and dates, even though she never saw a calendar, my sister has a schedule for when the tree should go up and when it is to come down. It goes up right after Thanksgiving and comes down on January 8. Then the moving tree is set up. One year, my mother didn't stick to the schedule. The tree was undecorated but still standing, waiting for my brother to come to pack it away and store it in the basement. This didn't fit in my sister's schedule. She somehow managed to drag it from the living room to the basement stairs and push it down the steps!

My sister never had a big wish list. Her list was always the same - a doll and records. She would open gifts if they were records, dolls, or something that talked or played music. If it were clothing (she could tell by the shape of the box), she would open it just enough to stick her hand in and check. If it were clothing, she would cast the box aside.

As my sister grew older, the presents became even less important to her. This past Christmas, she told me she did not want Santa to come. If the presents were under the tree, that would mean that we would open them and Christmas would be over. She refused to open her gifts this year! I opened the clothing since they were items she needed. I'll save her special gifts for her birthday next month. Maybe then she will open them.

My Daughter

My husband and I looked forward to our daughter's first Christmas with mixed emotions. On the one hand, we were excited to see her reaction to the decorations and gifts. At the same time, we were grieving over her recent diagnosis of cerebral palsy and acquired microencephalopathy. We carried out our Christmas traditions. We decorated our tree but eliminated blinking lights since they might activate seizures in our daughter. We waited at a local department store for our daughter to have her first professional Christmas picture. While other children her age were sitting independently in cute poses for their pictures and reaching for bubbles and toys, our daughter required support to sit; she stiffly closed her right hand resting on her lap. Christmas morning was difficult. Most people have pictures and videos of their toddlers enchanted with colorful paper, ribbons, and boxes. Our daughter, by contrast, became overwhelmed by all the stimuli and cried.

As parents, we learned quickly to limit our daughter's exposure to the Christmas chaos. We avoided Santa Claus, crowds, and the abundance of decorations and lights at the mall. We limited the number of presents she opened at one time by putting some presents away to be opened at a later time. At first, shopping for gifts for her was difficult. She did not have a wish list. We looked for toys she could operate easily with one hand while sitting in her chair for support. As our daughter matured and was able to sit on her own and walk with some assistance, she enjoyed playing with toys that represented real-life tasks especially cooking, cleaning, and feeding her baby dolls. She liked receiving books, not to read them, instead pretending to check them out as she had seen the clerk do during our visits to our local library.

Fast forward to years later. Our daughter loves Christmas. She is no longer overwhelmed by the excitement surrounding the Christmas holiday. She finds pleasure in the excitement surrounding Christmas, the lights, the gifts under the tree, and the parties and celebrations. Our daughter doesn't have a wish list. She does love opening presents no matter to whom the gift belongs or what is inside. Every gift, no matter what it is, brings a smile to her face. She enjoys celebrating Christmas with her family and friends.

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The True Meaning of Christmas

I don't know how much my sister and daughter understand the true meaning of Christmas. They recognize the church decorations and special Christmas hymns. They listen to stories of Jesus and know that church and the reception of holy communion are special. They understand that birthdays are special. What they don't see is the commercialization of Christmas. They are not enticed by television ads for black Friday sales. They don't count and compare how many cards or gifts they received. For them, the size of the tree doesn't matter t as long as there is a tree. For them, Christmas is a time to celebrate with family and friends. They may not understand the significance of Jesus' birth. They do know that Christmas is special. It is a time to be with family and friends. They love Christmas because Christmas is love. Maybe we should look at Christmas through their eyes!

Author Credentials:

Kathleen M. Cleaver holds a Bachelor’s degree in elementary education and the education of children whose primary disability is a visual impairment (TVI). During her thirty-year career as a teacher, Kathleen received the Penn-Del AER Elinor Long Award and the AER Membership Award for her service and contributions to the education of children with visual impairments. She also received the Elizabeth Nolan O’Donnell Achievement Award for years of dedicated service to St. Lucy Day School for Children with Visual Impairments. Explore Kathleen's complete biography for comprehensive insights into her background, expertise, and accomplishments.

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Cite This Page (APA): Cleaver, K. M. (2023, January 25 - Last revised: 2023, January 27). Looking Back At Christmas Through Their Eyes. Disabled World. Retrieved September 21, 2024 from www.disabled-world.com/disability/blogs/christmas-past.php

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