Building Calm: Dr. Teri Rouse on Autism and Connection
Author: George Cassidy Payne
Published: 2025/10/10
Publication Type: Submitted Article
Category Topic: Special Education - Academic Publications
Page Content: Synopsis - Introduction - Main - Insights, Updates
Synopsis: This article offers practical wisdom from Dr. Teri Rouse, an early intervention specialist with thirty years of experience working with children across the developmental spectrum, including those with autism and other special needs. Through a thoughtful interview format, the piece addresses real challenges that parents, teachers, and administrators face daily—from recognizing nonverbal communication cues to establishing family routines in an overscheduled world. Dr. Rouse's insights prove particularly valuable for families navigating autism, as she emphasizes listening to what children communicate through behavior rather than words alone, setting firm boundaries with unsupportive people, and prioritizing self-care without guilt.
The article also highlights systemic issues affecting educators and early intervention providers, including inadequate funding and unrealistic workplace expectations, while offering concrete strategies like the Sunday Reset Checklist and Snuggle Bunny Book Club that make connection accessible even when time feels scarce. For older adults caring for grandchildren or seniors supporting family members with disabilities, Dr. Rouse's emphasis on small, intentional moments of presence over perfection provides a refreshing counter-narrative to achievement-focused parenting culture - Disabled World (DW).
Introduction
Building Calm and Connection in a Digital World: Insights from Dr. Teri Rouse
As a father of a child with special needs, I was especially eager to speak with Dr. Teri Rouse. Dr. Teri is an early and behavior interventionist, autism and reading specialist, educational coach, and consultant with 30 years of experience working with children from Pre-K through higher education. She has taught students of all ages, is an international speaker and multiple best-selling author, and is the creator of the REAL Peaceful Parenting Framework, Braver Than You Believe Blueprint, and Snuggle Bunny Book Club. Her work spans education, autism advocacy, literacy, and conflict resolution, and in 2025 she was named a Woman Changing the World Winner.
When we spoke by phone, I wanted to focus on the practical—the lessons teachers and parents can carry with them into classrooms, kitchens, and living rooms.
Main Content
Listening Beyond Words
I began by asking about conflict resolution and communication, both central to her work. What have children with autism or other developmental differences taught her about listening in ways adults often overlook?
"It has taken me a really long time to fully get this," Dr. Teri said. "The most important thing about listening is what is not being said. When children act a certain way, nine times out of ten, they are trying to tell us something. We shouldn't always expect eye contact or verbalization. Instead, we can ask: Can you show me what you need? Their brains may not be allowing them to get the words out, and that feels out of control for them. If we give them time—a moment of space—that can be enough to understand. Let them have the big feelings. They may just need a moment to be angry. If we keep pushing, we risk triggering them more. It's about taking the pause. Listening to what is being said, and not being said. Observing what is happening in the moment. If a child is falling on the floor, there is a reason. Nine times out of ten, it's an unmet need they're communicating."
Advice for Parents
Parents of children with autism often feel overwhelmed. I asked Dr. Teri what piece of advice she returns to again and again, the kind that seems to lift some of the weight.
"The first thing I say is: you have done nothing wrong. Continue to be the voice and advocate—be the squeaky wheel. Don't be afraid to say, I disagree with that. I tell parents, if you are in a difficult place, no one is okay. You must nurture yourself. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself. This is really hard because you're always on. The network of support is not going to come to you—you have to create it. Even 20 minutes to step away can make a difference. For couples, it's so important to take time for each other. It can't always be about the children. Autism and behavioral challenges affect the entire family. You are trying to create peace and balance. And if you have toxic people in your life, get them out. It begins with boundaries. It can be as simple as saying, You are not welcome in our home if you say these things around us, or we will not go to yours. And once you set the boundary, you must stick to it. It can't be wishy-washy."
Storytelling Across Cultures
Our conversation naturally shifted to storytelling. Storytelling is universal, yet every culture tells stories differently. I asked Dr. Teri if, in her international work, she had noticed ways that cultural traditions shape how children learn and respond.
"Absolutely," she said. "The biggest influence on children is the way they learn. In South America and India, for example, stories are often told through dance—through different mediums. Here, I'm not sure we really tell stories anymore. We've moved away from some of our cultural and ethical roots. We're constantly in a go, go mindset. Our stories aren't being told; they're being shared on social media or in the news. They're not being shared during family time or around a campfire. Our family structure is so different."
She emphasized that this shift affects all families.
"We have to take time to be families. We live in the same homes, but we are roommates. We get so busy with soccer, appointments, homework. Those things are important, and we should care about them—but if we're not spending quality time together, we forget how to be a family. Carving out 15 or 20 minutes a week to sit together, read a book, or go for a walk can make a difference. I have a friend who puts it on the calendar—a night where the whole family goes out to eat. If it's not scheduled, it doesn't happen. You have to be intentional. It takes will and purpose; otherwise, we get swept up in everything else."
I noted, "I saw your Sunday Reset Checklist, where you encourage families and classrooms to set one priority, clear a little chaos, and even create a 'calm cue' to transition into the week."
Dr. Teri said, "Exactly. It's about creating small, intentional spaces for connection and reflection. Those moments are where stories—and real learning—happen."
A Whisper from Snuggle Bunny
I asked Dr. Teri, "If Snuggle Bunny could whisper one piece of advice to stressed-out adults, what would it say?"
"Sit down. Grab a book, a snack, and a cup of tea, and sit with your child. Enjoy a book together. It opens a world. The act of being present—there is no better way. Your kids don't want perfection; they just want you."
She reflected on the origins of the program.
"I was teaching at a state university as Covid was shutting everything down. I was working with university teachers, sitting at home, and listening to all of these parents becoming teachers, and all of these teachers trying to manage kids learning on screens. I am really good at reading books, so I decided to use my computer to read a children's book every day. Snuggle Bunny Story Time turned into Snuggle Bunny Story Club."
Systemic Strains
Just as parents are stretched thin, so too are the schools and educators who serve them—strained by underfunding, high turnover, and inequities that ripple into every classroom. I asked Dr. Teri what changes she believes are most urgent if we want to better serve children and families.
"One of the major issues is funding that allows for consistency," she said. "Early intervention providers and educators are not valued in our society. They get the bottom of the barrel. But if we can reach children early and provide for them equitably, we can evolve the education system. That starts with giving early childhood intervention providers consistent funding and better pay. I'm a contractor, so for me it's okay, but if you are trying to make a living at this, the pay is unbelievably low for the work being done—to help parents, to help teachers. I'm actually on my way right now to see a child who is pretty significantly on the autism spectrum. There's no way one teacher could handle this alone."
She stressed that early intervention is not just a matter of behavior management but a holistic approach that impacts academic success.
"Preschool providers are paid basically nothing, yet they spend so much time with these children. And they don't just leave the work at school—it can be all-consuming. If real changes are going to happen in what I see as a broken system, we must begin by prioritizing the people on the frontlines of early intervention and early education."
Teachers and Balance
I then asked her for one piece of practical advice she often gives teachers about finding balance in such a demanding profession.
"Set aside the things that are not urgent, the things that can wait until tomorrow. There will always be tasks that must be done today or have a time restraint, but most things don't. It's about not taking everything home with you, literally. Keep the papers at school. Do the laundry at home so you aren't scrambling for a shirt in the morning. Reducing small stresses matters. Leave the grading at school so you can read a couple of books to your kids at night. There's no perfect balance—you trade things off. But if teachers are always 'on,' there's no room left to be a mom, or a wife, or a dad, or a husband."
What Administrators Get Wrong
Our conversation eventually turned to school leadership. Dr. Teri was clear-eyed about what administrators can do—and what they too often get wrong.
"Administrators, listen. Teachers do not need another mindfulness workshop, or candy on their desks, or jeans day on Friday. What they need is to be heard. They need you to listen to what your teachers and staff are truly saying. They need tangible support—real backing. I know a teacher who got written up because she had to leave when her child got sick. That is not showing up for your staff, and it's not giving them what they need to be successful. If one of your teachers has an emergency and needs to leave, take over their class. Show them you'll be there for them in the hard moments."
Rethinking School
Finally, I asked Dr. Teri to imagine what school might look like if she could redesign it from scratch—bells, schedules, classrooms and all.
"One of the first things I'd do is get rid of all the desks set up in rows. I wouldn't make it strictly Montessori, but I'd make it a comfortable place. Think about how distracting fluorescent lighting is—even for kids who aren't on the spectrum. I'd go back to basics: reading, writing, arithmetic. Children need to know how to write their names, how to add and subtract. We're so wrapped up in standardized testing that we've forgotten kids need to be kids. I just left a class where a four-year-old was expected to sit still for 20 minutes after finishing his snack. Kids are meant to be in motion. The expectation that they sit while someone drones at them—it's not working. Experiential education is key. Kids need to get up, move, and learn by doing. They don't know how to problem-solve anymore. Standardized tests have their purpose, but they should measure growth. They're not signs of competence, creative thinking, or true knowledge."
Listening, Again
Her challenge to administrators and vision for classrooms echoed the broader theme of our conversation: the strength of any educational system rests on its people. Supporting children begins with supporting parents, teachers, and staff—and listening not only to words, but to the unspoken. In Dr. Teri's world, listening beyond words is not just a skill. It is the foundation for change.
About the Author
George Cassidy Payne is a freelance journalist, poet, and philosophy educator based in Rochester, NY. His work explores the intersections of politics, art, culture, and social justice, with a focus on local issues that connect to broader global currents. In addition to writing for local and national outlets, he serves as a 988 Suicide Prevention Counselor and nonprofit strategist, drawing on two decades of experience in social work, community organizing, and peace education. George holds degrees in philosophy and the humanities, and has taught ethics and philosophy at several New York colleges.