You may have heard that online dating is easy. Well, I have news for you. Nothing in this life is easy. Sure, online dating connects you instantly with millions of people, but between that and finding that one person who's write for you, lies a road that is not always smooth.
The truth is, you need to put some effort into your online dating "career", if you want to get anywhere in a hurry. Here are my top online dating tips for getting results online:
1. Spend some time looking at different sites before choosing one
When you choose a dating site, you are entering into a relationship. If you're going to commit to spending time and money on someone (or, in this case, something) you should take steps to ensure you're making a wise choice. There are thousands upon thousands of dating sites out there, so there's no need to settle. Spending weeks or months looking at different sites is not really necessary, but it's good to have a look around and see what's out there. Read some reviews, ask your friends about their favorite sites and check out at least five sites before signing up and paying any money.
1. Put some effort into your profile
The profile is extremely important and yet so many people still neglect it in their rush to start dating. Unless your profile is attractive and appealing, you're going to find it difficult to get people to talk to you. Check out the competition, see what other people are writing and then try to do better. Try to go beyond lists of adjectives ("I'm funny, intelligent, fun") and give people a real sense of who you are by using anecdotes and longer descriptions of things you like doing. If you want to show people your sense of humor - include a joke you find funny. It works much better than saying you have a "great sense of humor".
2. Pick a good photo
A good photo doesn't have to be one taken by a professional photographer after a serious makeover but it does have to show your face clearly, preferably when you're smiling and looking happy. It's always best to get a second opinion from a friend, preferably a female one (especially if you're a guy). Don't be tempted to use old photos that you have lying about, especially if they no longer look like you. A bad photo could very easily mean no reply to your messages, so never underestimate the power of a photo online.
3. Make things happen
Online dating is predominantly a numbers' game. Whether you are a man or a woman, you can't sit back and let things happen of their own accord. You have to make them happen by contacting anyone you find interesting. Don't let yourself be lulled into inactivity by supposed dating etiquette. These things don't really apply online. Waiting around while doing nothing is not likely to get you anywhere, so start messaging!
4. Give people a chance
Not everyone translates well into the online realm. It's worth going on a few bad dates rather than miss out on someone worthwhile. It's good to extend your effort to the "maybe pile", at least until you learn to apply your instincts to the online dating universe. Soon enough you'll most likely be able to tell how someone's dating profile relates to the reality of that person and make more informed choices.
5. Go on a charm offensive
Putting thought into the messages you send people on the site is just as important as having a good profile. Even though you're still starting a conversation, online introductions are very different from face-to-face ones. It's not enough to just say "hi", you need to give the other person a reason to contact you. Write a short, friendly introduction, telling a bit about yourself and showing interest in the other person. Do this by really reading his/her profile and referring to what he/she has written. You can also comment on mutual interests, ask questions, give compliments, etc.
6. Keep your options open
Even if you've found someone you enjoy talking to, there is no need to stop talking to other people. In fact, keeping your options open is pretty much standard. Until you meet someone in person, you'll never know whether you are a match, so feel free to arrange as many dates as you want and don't feel like you have to make up your mind for a while yet.
7. Go on a lot of dates
Keeping your options open should extend beyond the Internet. The key here is to enjoy the dating experience, rather than feel like you have to get immediate results. Dating is meant to be fun. It's meant to be non-committal, until you're certain you've met someone who really does it for you. Don't hang on to every first date like it's the most important day of your life. Play it cool and see what happens. You will most likely have to go on a lot of dates before you meet someone you like, so accept that and try to view the whole experience as a pleasure, not a chore.
8. Don't get overexcited
It's far too easy to put people off by getting too excited after the first date. In spite of all the talk about love at first site, it's usually too soon to tell after one date whether you are suitable for a long-term relationship. Even if you are pretty certain, it's best not to be overbearing, but let things develop at a more casual pace. There is no need to be cold and distant, but giving the other person some personal space from time to time is probably a good idea. Don't act as if you are already a married couple, until you are both really certain you have feelings for each other.
10. Don't give up
If you're serious about finding love, you owe it to yourself to keep trying. Do not be put off by a few bad dates and a few weirdos. Keep trying and you may well be surprised at the results. Millions of people have found love online, so you could too, what's certain is that you won't find anything online if you stop looking.